A whole new world

In the last few days I've come to realise that although the Brits and the Yanks speak the same language our worlds are polar opposites. Not just from the side of the road they drive on (I'll come back to that shortly) but from the food they eat, what the call things, how they pronounce things and how they interact with each other.

My trip here has become much more than just a holiday, it's now turned into a huge learning curve. 

I absolutely love driving but over here it has turned into a life or death experience for me! It's not only the fact I have to remember to drive on the right hand side of the road but to remember you can turn on a red light (realised this after a very pissed off truck drive honked at me so loudly I nearly choked on my haribo) and also if you miss your turn off it can take another 6 blocks before you can rectify your mistake thus leaving me totally disorientated and on the edge of panic.

When there's someone else in the car with me I'm fine but when I'm all alone the realisation that one false move and I'm head first into a truck the size of the house or pulled over by gun wielding state troopers begins to sink in.

I'm glad to report though I'm yet to kill anyone, be killed, or end up in the local jail but still, the opportunity is still up for grabs! I have found though that google earth is my saviour over here. Being able to visualise where I'm going helps loads so I do recommend it when you're driving in a country you have no clue about!

Another thing I've noticed that is totally different, and it surprised me, is their supermarkets and what they stock. They call things totally different names and everything comes in value packs or family sized portions! I have no idea how someone begins to shop healthily over here if they are like me, if it's in the house, I want to eat it... all.

They did have an "English" section at the supermarket though. Stocking Bovril, PG Tips, Bisto gravy and Yorkie bars. American's do have a very stereotypical view of us Brits, but I guess we do of them too. One person said to me the other night when we went out for dinner and I chose to have Fish and Chips, "Oh I didn't think you'd order that, do you not eat it all the time?" That baffled me for a second but then the penny dropped as I figured out they thought all English people eat all the time is Fish and Chips or Bangers and Mash!

I can confirm our stereotypical view of America, they don't half love their deep fried stuff! 

The fact that I'm eating enough for two super sized people has made me venture into getting some exercise over here. Di's left me her bike to use, which is very kind of course, so the other day I took my first trip out on it.

Near by where I'm staying there's a creek that has a path all the way round it and handy markers so you can tell how far you've gone and how much further you need to go to work off that extra large portion of fries you consumed last night. One sign that did slightly concern me was the "beware of the alligators" Ha! Jesus christ I'm going to be eaten alive! 

I took great care to keep one eye on the water and one eye on where I'm going and for quite a while I saw nothing and thought they were having me on. Until I turned a corner right by the children's, not gated, play area, this ruddy great thing popped its head above the water. Shit me sideways I nearly went head first over the handle bars, got my shorts caught in the peddle and lost my water bottle!

The creature seemed as stunned as I was and crashed back into the water to my relief but I wasn't taking any chances and pegged it round the corner to get away whilst being serenaded by a six year old's laughter... I am the peak of coolness. Not.

You do of course have to beware of the native wild life over here, there's snakes, alligators, great big spiders and cockroaches. One particular cockroach paid me a visit the other night. I was happily snoring away when I heard a bag rustling at the end of my bed. At first I thought nothing of it, presumed it was the air con firing up and blowing the bag but after the breeze stopped and the noise continued I turned the light on to take a look. If you're like me when you're woken up in pitch darkness your eyes take a little while to adjust so when I first took a peek it looked like a little lizard. A few of these have come in since I've been here, no biggy I can handle them. But as I got closer I saw it wasn't a cute little lizard but a ruddy great roach rattling around my room. Not a nice sight when you have no shoes on I can tell ya! I managed to get a glass over it and keep the vomit down that was circling my throat and got it out the house. Promptly slamming the door behind me, hopping back to my room and jumping back into bed. I didn't get a very sound sleep after that!!

Anyway, enough of the bug stories. My tan is coming along nicely and the autumn temperatures are beginning to kick in which now has it averaging at about 89 degrees a day... I nearly need to wear sleeves ;-)

I'm off out to a sushi bar tonight so I shall report back on whether or not I've got food poisoning in the next few days. I would say I'm missing England, but I'm not...

TTFN!!

One last thing, top news story today... Ben and Jerry's ice cream makers are toying with the idea of using nursing mothers milk to make their ice cream instead of cows milk because they think its healthier.... hahahahahaha. Coming to a store near you soon!

Howdy Y'all

I've been in Florida for over a week now and I feel fully engrossed in their day to day lives. So many people have taken me under their wing I'm ever so slightly suffocated but in a thankful, appreciating way. And I'm even beginning to deal with the lychee sweet friendliness. 

This week I've been taken out to dinner at Treasure Island Beach, Caddy's Bar was the location and what a location it is! Right on the beach front, strides away from the shore line and perfectly set up to catch every glimpse of the outstanding sunset. 

Only downside to the venue was its seemingly inability to sell anything that's not dipped in grease, fried in grease or comes with a side of grease. It did make me wonder how the ripped and toned men around me stayed that way if they were eating this stuff. They must get really hot and sweaty working all that off..... . . .    . .   .    ... ahem, sorry. What a lifestyle it would be though, to stroll down to a beach bar after work and watch the sunset with a cold beer in hand. Definitely getting me thinking.

My next mini adventure was my first baseball game. The local team here are the Rays, they've had a notorious losing streak for 11 seasons but by some miraculous change of luck they are now winning their division and fighting for a place in the play offs.

Their home is the Tropicana Stadium and it's fricking huge. Seats 30,000, fully enclosed and fully air conditioned, several levels, so many bars, food outlets, shops and god knows what else you could spend the whole day just walking around. 

The feel of the crowd is totally different to any sport I've ever seen in England. They aren't so blindly drunk you feel nervous around the supporters, they are head to toe in Rays clothes, earrings, cow bells, hats and some have even painted their faces. Everyone from the tiny toddlers to the doddering elders are here to cheer on their local team.

I had a seat up in the "nose bleed section" which is high up (so high I dare not lean forward at any point) but I can still see everything really clearly. Around the stadium there's video screens everywhere playing different visuals which they've cleverly produced and music is pumping out as the players run on to the pitch.

They all seem to have an fetish for the cowbell. Now I get the point of contraption, it's used to create atmosphere, draw the supporter into the game and let the players know they are behind them but my god they are ANNOYING. I swear I now have tinnitus thanks to those sodding little blue bells.

The basics to baseball is pretty similar to rounders. You have a pitcher that will try to make the batter miss, 3 strikes and they are out and if they throw 4 foul balls the batter gets a free run to first base. The batters aim is to hit it so far that they are able to run all the way around the bases and the fielders are there to prevent it. It's just a little more jazzed up and less girly than rounders.

The game is slow in comparison to football but it still has the edge of your seat excitement and less faked injuries although the players seem just as obsessed with their hair styles and looks. 

After about the 4th inning I was getting really into it, it may have helped that they serve beer in buckets but I'd like to think it was the drama of the occasion that had me whooping and clapping like a crazy person. 

The game took 4 hours to reach the final inning but I was never bored, one thing the Americans really have going for them is they really know how to have a good time. It can even make a stone face Brit let down her barriers long enough to loss a little inhibition. 

After the game we headed over to the local sports bar. Immediately as we walked in my eyes were on stalks, if a gal is looking to find a mate in Florida a place like is this a good way to start. I won't bore you with my hit list as I'm sure not everyone would enjoy me retelling the glorious sight of tall, dark and handsome strangers with their tight, tight shirts on but ladies, if you want to know (and want pictures) just give me a shout ;-)

That concluded my first outing at a ball game, two more days and I'm back for more!

Hello from sunny Florida!

I have finally arrived in sunny St Pete! The flight over from Washington wasn't too bad and thanks to the beauty of internal flights no more flashing at border control was in store. 

The heat pretty much knocked me sideways as we walked out of the airport. It always makes me a little excited when you feel the temperature of a hot country for the first time, as in England we're lucky if it gets over 19 degrees! 

I made my way to my home for the next 6 weeks, a pretty one story traditional Floridian house with 3 bedrooms and a tropical back yard. It's set in a sweet and quiet neighbourhood just off 9th Avenue in North St Petersburg. 

All the neighbours where invited over for a barbeque on my second night so I could get to know some of them and they could see who's hijacking their community! We made a stack load of food and went to the local cheap liquor store to stock up on booze. Everyone began piling in at 6pm and I've got to admit I found it a little overwhelming! They were literally lining up to be introduced and I'm not good with names at the best of times let alone 10 people's all at once!

They are a different kind of friendly over here, the English I think are typically cautious when meeting new people. They are friendly but always a little wary at first but Americans are full on inviting you to their weddings and son's barmitzvar before you got to shake their hands.

Although I began the night thinking I couldn't quite cope with the tooth rotting sweetness by the end of it I actually really enjoyed it. I met a guy who is a feature editor for the St Petersburg Times which was really interesting as well as a lad from Brighton who's married a Floridian.

One thing I will say though, these guys can eat! And drink! We made enough food to fed 50 and 20 people managed to polish it all off and I swear they drank a vineyard's annual yield!

The night ended with me having a pocket full of phone numbers and loads of invites to all different things, this time may well end up to be quite an eye opener...

11th September - These boots were made for walking.

Once again I awoke at an unearthly hour before the sun had even risen but surprisingly I was beginning to quite like it!

By 6am I headed off down to breakfast in the hotel restaurant. For $16 I could you can eat as much as you like of eggs, bacon, sausages, french toast, waffles, fried potatoes, tomatoes, spinach, beans, melon, apples, granola, 8 different cereals, muffins, banana bread, croissants, toast, yoghurt, you get the drift..

Walking 6 miles on a bloated belly is not a wise idea, believe me. I was burping on every 5th step and had stitch after 100m's but it was a nice sunny day and after yesterday a slightly slower paced stroll was a welcomed option.

Today I wandered down to the Lincoln Memorial, walking alongside the reflection pool looking up to the steps where people had watched Martin Luther King Jr make his famous "I have a dream speech" back in the 60s. 

The size of the Lincoln memorial is jaw dropping, the building is massive and the statue of Lincoln is so big I'm probably as tall as his big toe. After getting a neck strain trying to look at it all I headed back down the steps to the Vietnam Memorial, this one is a little eery. The bronze statues are so life like you almost think they will start moving towards you if you stare at them too long. 

As you have probably gathered there's memorials and monuments everywhere in this city and they are all presented in a very respectful way. I can imagine some of these being a great place for relatives to go and remember. One in particular was unveiled while I was there. 

The new memorial was opened for the 9/11 victims at the Pentagon. Although the area was only open to invited guests the feeling in the city that day was reflective. A lot of military men and woman were walking the streets, some roads where closed off and all flags were flying at half mast. I couldn't see the memorial up close but every local news channel had footage of it so if you're going anytime soon to Washington make sure you make the trip out of town to see it. 

I had to be up early to catch my flight to Florida so I headed back to the hotel to prop up the bar.

Final tips

1. Take comfy shoes with you.
2. Obey all the walk signs, cars do not stop for you.
3. They don't do 1/2 pint beers.
4. The scallops are the size of a small child's head.
5. The steaks are to die for.
6. Don't walk after an American style breakfast.
7. Be aware some Americans have difficulty understanding the British accent.
8. Always have you camera handy.

10 Sept - Time to explore.

Thanks to my body's inability to adjust to the time change I was wide awake well before the sun came up and ready to see some sights.

First stop was Starbucks for a latte and a piece of banana cake to stock up the tanks for some serious walking, map in hand I trudged off towards the US Capitol. The first thing I couldn't help but notice was the amount of joggers, they literally surrounded me as I walked down the Mall, there was even a couple who had to be over 100, seriously putting me with my large cup of caffeine and slab of lard to shame.

The lay out of the U.S' capital city takes many influences from the Roman elaborate architecture. Huge glistening white domes situated on top of massive white buildings with decorative columns supporting their enormous weight. All of the main iconic structures are finished off with life like marble or iron statues. 

Sitting on the wall of the Capitol you can see all the way down the Mall to the Washington monument and as I was up before the local wildlife (except the eager runners) I witnessed the sun rise to the west of the Mall creating quite beautiful shadows and illuminating all the museums on the east side.

Washington has the same mirage as New York and Vegas. Everything looks really close but it's not, at all. It took me at least 20 minutes to make it down to the Washington monument but it was time well spent psyching myself up to face my fear of heights and scale the 555ft of the tower to be able to witness the 360 views of the city.

I wasn't prepared to face another fear as I got there, geese. More evil, blood thirsty geese than I've ever seen before. The grass surrounding the monument was littered with 100s of Canadian geese, flapping and squealing. You may laugh but as a child I nearly lost my nose to one of these rodents and a finger nearly went to a swan so if these bastards turned now I could come home limbless!! To my relief a 5 year old girl was chasing and taunting them so at least they'd feast on her first and give me some time to peg it in the other direction.

Like a lot of things in Washington to go up the Monument is free. You're filed in by some park rangers (large rimmed hat - check) and squeezed into a lift. Heres a question - when a lift says "maximum load, 15 people" Is that 15 normal sized people or 15 super sized Americans? Because I weigh as much as a feather compared to what is all around me. 

Luckily the lift wires didn't snap and we scaled 555 feet in 70 seconds with our guide (who looked like Danny De Vito as the male stripper in Friends) mumbled facts so quickly you managed to only understand every 10th word.

If you do have vertigo and think you can face it the view from the top is massively worth it, on a clear day you can see for 100s of miles and its breath taking. I was quietly amazed at what I was seeing when this was all ruined after one of the super sizes let off the most foul smelling trumps, if you could bottle it they could use it for chemical war fare. I would have stayed longer but there's very little room at the top of the monument and no windows, no where for that poison to escape to!

As you descend back down the lift slows in some places and you can see large engraved stones they'd put into the tower dedicated to those who helped build it, at least that's what I gathered from Danny de Vito.

Next stop was to pop in on our pal George. Considering it's one of the most famous buildings in the world, it was quite disappointing. As we approached it from the Eclipse (large round piece of lawn basically) I lost it, couldn't see it anymore and became quite disorientated. This would never happen with Buck Palace. But luckily there was enough bomb barriers for me to follow to eventually get back on track and peer around the trees, through the metal gates and lay my eyes on a big white house. And that's it basically, you can't go in anymore because there's obviously the odd one or two people out there that might like to slap Bush on his toosh so all you get to see is the garden out the front and the snipers on the roof (if they are pointing at you, run. Can you imagine how boring that job is, they must be likely to snap at any point) So I took a few photos and made a quick get away.

By this time I'd worked off my banana cake and headed over to the financial district for some brunch and found a cafe that's meant to be a local haunt for the "Hill Workers" (those who work in Capitol Hill). The place was littered with cheesy pictures of all the local government officials and American flags. That's one thing I guess you'd never see in England. Can you imagine a restaurant putting pics of Gordon Brown and Maggie Thatcher on its walls to increase its custom? Haha, I think not.

After filling myself with ice tea and a BLT I trudged up towards Union Station which has got to be one of the most stunning train stations in the world. From the way it is laid out, to the way it's lit to even the engravings on the ceilings is amazing. I found a bar in the middle where I took a pew and just watched the world go by. Every type of person was there. Japanese tourists, uniformed Marines, Business men and women with more Louis V luggage than posh spice. Somewhere like this is a huge time waster, you could stay here all day just looking at people going about there business. Of course, like anywhere, there's a few odd balls. One old chap walking around with his stereo blaring out the god squad speeches and another lecturing people about the imminent end of the world, you gotta love America.

By this time I must have walked 10 miles altogether and my legs are beginning to ache so it was time to head back to my 70s chic hotel for a dip in the pool. A successful day I thought, I was ready for the next.

KDC does Washington DC - 9th Sept

Finally the day arrived where I got to leave the UK for more than the "blink and you miss it" 2 week holidays!

The first pit stop on "KDC does America" was Washington DC. I'd booked my flight for 11am, thinking this was a reasonable time but neglecting to remember that it took 2 hours to reach the airport and I needed to be there 3 hours before... nice one. Three large coffees later I set off for the airport in driving rain and sub zero temperatures, gosh I'm going to miss England.

Heathrow has now adopted the new age of electronic self check ins, which are meant to be idiot proof but they definitely aren't "4 hours sleep and high on expresso" proof. The usual time it takes people to conquer this technology is 5 minutes, it took me 15. Back. Of. The. Net.

Anyway, I managed it with only my self respect dented and hopped off to the duty free before having to leg it to the gate because I'd been sucked into trying every perfume so I could now board my 9 hour flight smelling like a £10 brothel.

British Airways, if you can avoid them do. The leg room is for dwarfs, the food is for those without taste buds and the toilets are for contortionists. But the movie selection is great, so if you are happy to keep your legs crossed and under your chin, starve and spend hours glued to watching the latest releases then you are onto a winning formula.

As we landed in Washington DC I must admit I began to brick it. As some of you may know due to a "technical difficulty" I had a touch of bother entering Las Vegas last year due to some punk putting someone else's fingerprint on my passport in New York. I got hauled off into a little room and treated to an interrogation by Nevada's finest. So as I'm entering the US capital I'm under the impression security will be on lock down and anyone that even has a funny squint is going to get arrested and sent home. 

I approached the immigration desk with trepidation and saw, to my relief, it was a young and quite attractive gent. As all self respecting woman would do, I hiked up my boobs, yanked down my top and swished my hair across my shoulders whilst smiling sweetly. I'm pleased to say the trusty formula worked a treat, I don't think he even looked at my passport.

After prostituting myself at customs I made it out of the airport to glorious sunshine, there's a lot to be said about the horrid weather in England, it really does make getting away from it so much sweeter. Taxi hailed and I was off to see George.

I expected driving into Washington DC to be like arriving into New York but I was hugely mistaken. Washington is surprisingly well spaced out, it doesn't feel over crowded and the buildings aren't so high that you literally have to bend over backwards to see it all. And its really really green.

The hotel, L'Enfant Plaza, was a kick back from the 70s on the outside. You know the type, concrete with an orange tinge, big brown windows and all corners. Beautiful inside though, very tastefully decorated for an American mainstream hotel. After checking in (my room is right by the pool) bed was calling so I washed of the smell of plane food and hit the pillow, tomorrow was going to be a long day!